The Smallest Of The Toes

I have a problem with little toes. I do not mean to imply that my toes in general are small in stature, I am talking about the smallest members of the toe family. These toes lay on the outer edges of each of your feet. For many of you, this will mean the fifth toe along from the inside of your foot, for others perhaps more/less.

My little toes are constantly in my way. I can hear you thinking “sheesh, how big are your smallest toes?”. I promise you, they are in proportion to my other toes, do not stick out at odd angles nor is the length and breadth abnormal to my feet, but alas, they still get in my way.

If I am without shoes, my smallest toes will manage to come in contact with walls, doors, bed frames, lounges, chairs….basically anything solid and low-lying! The searing pain from retracting this toe from its rightful position can bring me to my knees in an instance.

Do you believe, as I, that these seemingly unimportant extremities are inflicted with small toe syndrome? Is this constant need for attention a cry for help? Are we not treating our smallest digits with the same significance as their larger counter parts? I fear rebellion and this shit is real, beware people.